This month is a month of one-year anniversaries for us. One year since I felt like my world fell apart. One year since I started walking through this dark providence. One year since God rescued me. One year since we experienced our quick and traumatic move to America. One year since saying good-bye to dear friends. One year of being a single mom. I have cried more during this past year than I ever thought possible. But I was thinking recently, that rather than marking my days of sorrow, I should rather mark them under God's grace. Afterall, I have one year of seeing God's faithfulness. One year of the comfort of the Holy Spirit being poured out in ways I had never known were possible before. I have more than 365 mornings that God has literally lifted me out of bed and set me on my feet. He has pushed me through every day, seen every tear, provided for every single need, given me every ounce of strength needed. And not only that, he has given us a measure of healing. Restored some joy. We have seen, especially in the last month or so, the sun start to peek out again. He has allowed my trauma brain fog to be lifted and a measure of restored hope that I will indeed "look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." (Psalm 27) I've come to the conclusion that marking God's time is more beneficial than marking my own days of sorrow. It encourages me keep the eyes of faith which see God and say, "He is enough." This picture is from the Entebbe airport parking lot. The big kids and I were struggling with a broken suitcase and weighing the luggage. And in that moment, the littles were struggling with broken hearts and the weight of all that was happening. But when I looked over at them, I knew that one day they'd be okay because in their own personal desperation, they had dug out their Bibles from their backpacks and were soaking in the Psalms while they sat waiting for us to finish.
One year later, I can say that God has never failed us. No, not once. The pain has been intense, but so has his love. I have one more big day that is coming that I'm still struggling to see my way through: May 27 --what would have been my 20th wedding anniversary. I'm asking that you please pray for strength to walk through it, that I'll keep my eyes on Christ, and that God will wrap his arms around me on that day, just as he has done so many times this past year. I have also seen this past year how he has continually used the prayers and love of his people to minister to my heart and this upcoming day just feels like a big one right now that I need a lot of prayer for. So thank you! "The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desire of those who fear him, he also hears their cry and saves him." Psalm 145:18-19.
34 Comments
Shirley Harrell
5/19/2020 04:32:10 am
We continue to pray for all of you and now especially on the 27th. The Lord is pur strength and guide through all our days.
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Bill Roach
5/19/2020 04:37:45 am
Your faith is inspiring to me sister. May your family continue to find the deep depths of grace in the cavern that God has created for you. I have no idea of the pain you have experienced, so I guess I don't know the depth of the grace either. We do pray for you and will continue to do so.
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Emily Swanson
5/19/2020 06:30:54 am
My heart is aching with you and amazed at the testimony to our God's constant faithfulness. He has never and will never fail His precious children. Watching the threads of His faithfulness through something so heartbreaking has been absolutely humbling. We love you all deeply. May He hold you close to His bosom of love and grace and deep deep rich abundant mercy every day.
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Susan
5/19/2020 06:54:20 am
Its been 30 years this weekend since I went thru my difficult time. Your words and perspectives strike a familiar note of the raw emotions that stir on anniversaries. Tears fell for you when I read this post. You are in my thoughts and prayers. May God continue to bless you and lift you up as his love never fails!
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John Johnson
5/19/2020 08:57:17 am
Praying for you and your children, that God will continue His loving care and continue the growing of hope and peace in His love.
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Eileen Scipione
5/19/2020 10:10:35 am
I truly understand what you are saying about a trauma becoming a triumph. Losing my husband to cancer in January has ripped me apart; but Gods love is replacing my husbands love and devotion for me.
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Tracy L Geaslen
5/19/2020 12:15:59 pm
I have followed your journey since you visited our church a couple of years ago. I have been praying for you this year, and will continue to do so. Praise God for his unfailing love!
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Maria Holtslag
5/21/2020 01:39:38 pm
I have made a note of the memory of your wedding day and will pray for you. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and may God continue to bless you and your family. I did so like the recent family photo. You have been given a gift for writing and teaching us at the same time. May the Gospel be revived around the world during the lockdown because of Covid 19. We are both over 70 and been kept safe and well. We are thankful for modern technology that has spread the gospel truth worldwide. In Him, our Ascended King, Maria Holtslag New Zealand
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Alice Steenhof
6/28/2020 10:47:46 pm
Dear Dianna and children - you continue to be in our daily prayers and praise God for His grace and strength to you all. Enjoy your summer break! John and Alice Steenhof , Perth Australia
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